I would have done it all differently
if I had known
our meeting that day
was to be our last one.
Had you even hinted
this was our final scenario
I would have risen to the occasion
played it our properly.
I would have looked my most beautiful
uttering great, dramatic soliloquies
on our time together
and life in general
your last memories of me
would have been powerful ones.
Your most casual comments
I would have catalogued
to listen to later
I’d have studied you
while your weren’t looking
taking mental notes
of each beautiful detail.
Your grabbing for my hand
as we walked
would have meant more to me
that night
than jus something you had a habit of doing.
I’d have prolonged our parting
our usual kiss at the door
kept your arms around me a second longer
and watched the back of you
leaving.
Instead
I dismissed you
almost casually
as contented lovers often do
knowing there will be
a next time.
A sequence of my poems has been published in a hardcover book entitled The Music of Leaving Poems by Tricia McCallum
3 Responses
I cut this poem out of a magazine years ago, and carried the copy with me everywhere. It is easily the most beautiful poem I have ever read, and I have a Bachelors in Literature so I have read a lot of poetry. At some point, during a move, I lost my only copy. I have been searching for it for many years, and tonight I finally found it. I have been weeping tears of joy all night. I am now complete again. Thank you Ms. McCallum for helping a young girl through the profound suffering of losing first love. You are amazing.
Ditto to the previous comment I love this poem .
It’s framed on our entry door. To remember with every leaving. It’s been there since time began in our home. Thank you Tricia McCallum